Places to NOT take a 2 year old

Lessons in Mommy-hood
(or You Think I would Know by Now)

1. First on our list is Meijer. NO way, No how. Especially not when he is in his Fireman Dave frame of mind. (Fireman Dave runs from the firehouse yelling "Wait for me!" while the truck pulls away. In this scene, the cart drives away while the monkey stands in the middle of the aisle yelling, "Wait for me!" then runs to catch up with us. Or, my favorite, he has a melt down in the frozen food aisle, laying on the floor proclaiming he is too tired to go on. This has nothing to do with fireman Dave, but just being a two year old with a mind of his own.

2. Next is a funeral home. When my grandpa died, I remember my nieces "playing" in front of his casket. Someone said something to someone, and my 10 year old niece ended up throwing a fit on the floor. To this day I have no idea how that happened, but it was a sight to remember.
So what do I do? I take both hellions, a-hem, boys, to the funeral home for the viewing of of a dear family friend. Alice was 94 when she passed away last week. The boys did not have a chance to know her, but I had kid duty as daddy-o had work duty. Off we went.

LMSP was intrigued by Alice's body in the casket. I told him that her soul went to heaven with Jesus, just like Freddie. (Luckily he did not misinterpret this time and exclaim Chuck E. Cheese's!) I know he wanted to touch her, but held back because he thought she was asleep. Try to explain death to a 2 year old when you barely have a grasp on the concept yourself! I let it go at that.

Grandpa corralled the troll while we visited at the funeral home. It was not too long before boredom set in, and they were both acting like bohemians. Well, acting normally, but with a bohemian flair considering we were in a funeral home. A very sweet little boy of about 6 or 7 years of age, who obviously had had enough of the death festivities, too, approached LMSP and asked if he was "full of energy, too." Of course, the monkey says yes, and they hit it off immediately. Before I know it, they were doing somersaults in the funeral home. That was my cue to leave.

3. Church. Enough said.

There are more, and I will add them as they occur. For now, these are the most recent/most scarring experiences.